Deciding to terminate a pregnancy is a hugely personal decision. Discover the support and understanding that you need.
Have you or your partner recently had a termination? Or perhaps it was some time ago.
Do you feel like no-one really understands what happened and why? That although this may have been your choice, it wasn’t a choice you wanted?
My deepest condolences go out to you for experiencing such a difficult time.
Do you feel overwhelming sadness and grief for what took place? Emotions that maybe you don’t quite understand?
Do you wish that you could talk to someone who knew what you were feeling? Reach out to you with understanding and without judgement?
Then please pay close attention to my next few words, because we are here to help you.
Hi, my name is Hafizah Ismail.
I am the founder of Children of Jannah.
I am going to explain how we can help you understand and cope with experiencing a termination. With one simple step, I will explain here how we can make a difference to the grief and emotions that you are feeling.
If you feel like no-one understand your pain, the emotions that you are going through, I can relate to that. A child in my immediate family tragically died and I know how traumatic and lonely that loss can be.
Feeling Misunderstood Or Ashamed
After the death of my nephew, I suspected that there were many parents out there consumed in their grief and with no-one to help them.
I knew that included in that group there would also be couples and mothers who had experienced a termination and were mourning alone.
That they were perhaps feeling misunderstood or even ashamed and as such were suffering in silence.
I didn’t know how to tackle this problem but I knew that something had to be done to help them.
Opinions & Judgements
I’m sure that you have heard many opinions about termination and I’m sure that you have heard many ideas about grief and how we should treat grieving parents.
I have. Everyone around me always said that grief was something private and that it was better to just leave bereaved parents to ‘get over it’ in their own time.
But when it came to termination there was a particular silence, a particular refusal to openly discuss this as a loss – no matter the individual circumstances.
And so there exists instead opinions and judgments about termination and how the mother and father should feel and shouldn’t feel.
And ultimately how we should treat parents who have experienced the termination of a pregnancy.
No Other Choice
Did you know that many women decide to go through with a termination in the UK?
Sometimes for health reasons, sometimes for private and social reasons. Whatever the reason, each decision is personal.
Sometimes it is because they feel they have no other choice or even because doctors advise them that they must. Each person’s experience is different but you are not alone and the array of emotions that accompany termination are common.
Wounded, Betrayed, Guilty & Angry
No matter if this was openly your choice or something you felt compelled to do, a termination is shocking, devastating and the thoughts and feelings involved are like no other.
No matter if your termination was at a few weeks or later in to your pregnancy, the loss remains the same – and it is a loss.
We know this and this is why we want to help you understand termination and how you can learn to find life again.
Over the next few minutes I’m going to reveal how we can help bereaved parents like you – because although you may not think of it, that is what you are.
You will discover that there is light at the end of the tunnel – that there are people who understand and who won’t make judgements about your experience - but instead will accept you and listen.
The information I am going to share with you can change your life. It can give you a life again after the loss of your child – a life that doesn’t forget them but a life that honours them and allows you to make peace with your loss.
Change Your Life
The information I am going to share with you can change your life, the life you are living right now which is filled with pain and confusion.
You may wonder how or why this is possible – or even if you can or should look forward to a brighter day once again. But for every moment that goes past without the right support in place for you, without someone to talk to who truly understands your experience, is a moment of intense grief controlling you that you do not need to suffer.
Acknowledge The Impact
Processing your emotion is something that you owe to yourself to act upon now.
This is a time when you need to be kind to yourself and acknowledge the impact of what you have been through.
The pain you are feeling is awful and I am sure you feel anguish, confusion and like your heart has been broken.
This wasn’t what you wanted, you didn’t want to choose this path.
And although you understand that, it hurts and you feel sadness - but perhaps you are not sure why.
Emotions Won't Go Away
Do you feel like these emotions won’t go away – no matter how hard you try to push them down?
What if no matter how much you try to forget or move on, that doesn’t happen?
Even though it may be difficult - if you don’t take action to address the loss you have experienced, if you don’t allow us to help you, intense grief will stay with you.
Introducing Our Understanding Termination of Pregnancy Resources
Our Understanding Termination videos and factsheets are unique because we have taken the time to address this specific type of loss and to support people like you who have experienced this. We believe that termination is a loss just like others, and as such, we need to accept it as that.
Features
At Children of Jannah, we help people who have suffered a similar loss as you – including those who have had a termination. We wanted to help by giving them the support and understanding that they need, in a way that is unique to the loss of termination. With acceptance and honest discussion, we offer impartial non-judgemental help and support. We decided to take action and bring you these resources so that you can find what you need, when you need it.
Understanding termination and its reasons isn’t simple but with our help, it can get easier to accept and understand the impact termination has had upon you. All you need to do is get in touch with us to begin your journey to finding a better way of feeling.
Our Understanding Termination resources will address the reality of termination with understanding and realistic, honest discussion.
We will talk frankly about some of the myths you may have heard about termination - and the opinions too.
We will talk about some of the thoughts you may be having and emotions you may be feeling and why.
And with our help, things will get easier.
So what are the resources that we have available to help you?
Lifetime Access
You’ll have Lifetime Access to the Membership portal - meaning you can use the resources whenever and wherever you like – because we know grief has no timetable.
24/7 Availability
You'll get 24-hour access to the members area, 7 days a week on any device to have the piece of mind you crave.
Training Videos
You’ll get access to Training Videos on understanding termination - so that you are able to understand the experience of termination and why the loss you have suffered is significant.
Downloadable Factsheets
You’ll also be able to download Factsheets on Understanding Termination, available to read when you are ready.
Real Stories
You can hear and read real stories from real people who have experienced termination. So you can realise that you are not alone and that you do not have to feel isolated.
Private Forum
We’ll also give you access to a Private Parents Online Group with people who have suffered termination. So you can access support from other parents from around the world in a similar situation to yours and lean on each other as you come to terms with your loss.
Exclusive Community
Our exclusive community means you can get support from other parents from around the world in a similar situation to yours.
FAQs Hub
You'll be able to access our ever-increasing hub of FAQs, answered by scholars and specialists in the area of child bereavement.
And you’ll receive access to the latest termination resources when they become available - giving you peace of mind that we are here for you in the future, whenever you need us.
So just why are our resources so beneficial? The answer is simple: because we will speak openly to you about what it is like to have suffered the loss of termination. We believe in opening discussion – so that you won’t have to grieve in silence anymore.
I often get asked – “What if you can’t help me? I can’t undo what has been done. ” Our resources and support have helped hundreds of people who felt the same way as you. We take many, many calls a week from bereaved people who have been through a termination. They are scared and alone and confused and grieving. And for each of these people who reach out to us, we reach back and we are with you for as long as you need us.
I also hear people say “I don’t need to understand it, I chose this, what is there to discuss?” But the reality is that you do need to process the loss you have experienced. Termination is a big thing to go through, it is not a simple or small experience. And you know this, deep down inside and you feel it and you feel the loss. Understanding that loss is so important in helping you to process what has happened and process your grief.
But there’s more to this than just watching a video. We offer all our parents the opportunity to talk to us via our Telephone Support Service or to discover our Grief of Hope Support packs and our Life After Loss groups. We offer all our services so that you can find the type of support that you need, in a way that suits you, to take you forward into your life.
So click the link below and take advantage of our Understanding Termination resources. This is the chance you need, this is what you have been looking for and that is why you are listening to me today.
Deciding to terminate a pregnancy is a hugely personal decision. Discover the support and understanding that you need.